Why I Became a Witch (And Why I'll Never Go Back)

I didn't become a witch because it was edgy. I became a witch because I refuse to live a life where my power belongs to someone else.

That sentence came out of me at this week's recording session, and I had to write it down beforehand because I knew when I got to it, I'd lose it. I did anyway. Because that is the truest thing I know about myself and my path, and it took sitting through a 45-minute wedding ceremony this past weekend to remind me exactly how true it still is.

The Wedding

Let me set the scene. This was a family wedding, a beautiful one. My husband's niece. We traveled to a small town in Colorado, stayed at a gorgeous hotel, and watched two people who clearly love each other commit to a life together. I cried. The emotion in that room was real and it was moving.

But this was also a very conservative, evangelical Christian ceremony, and the messaging woven throughout it, about women being submissive to men, women being led by men, women being under their husbands, landed differently for me than it did for the rest of the room.

There was even a joke from the pastor. He talked about lifelong commitment and what it looks like when you're angry at each other. His examples: if the husband makes a big purchase, the wife has to remember why she loves him. And if the wife doesn't clean the house correctly, the husband has to remember how much he loves her. The room laughed. I sat very still.

I want to be clear: I am not here to tear apart a family I love, a ceremony that was genuinely beautiful, or a faith that clearly means everything to the people in that room. To watch people believe in something bigger than themselves that devoutly is a beautiful thing. I don't have to agree with it to recognize that.

But I also can't pretend my energy didn't shift. Because it did. And what I realized sitting in that discomfort for 45 minutes was not judgment. It was clarity. It was recognition of exactly how far I have come from a version of myself who would have sat there and said nothing, felt nothing, kept the peace, kept her mouth shut, kept herself small.

I don't know that woman anymore.

Why Women Are Held Down (I Said What I Said)

Here's what I believe, full stop, no apology.

Women are the creators of life. We are the origin point. And a woman can choose whoever she wants to be the father of her children, and if she doesn't choose you, your bloodline ends. That is power. That is a kind of power that has threatened men since the beginning of organized religion, and I believe with everything in me that is exactly why the major religions of the world have spent thousands of years teaching women that they are subservient, that they were created from a man's rib to be his companion, that their role is to follow and submit and obey.

Because if a woman truly understood the power she holds in the existence of humanity itself, she would never hand it over. And that terrifies patriarchal systems.

My power does not come through anyone else. You cannot give me my power. I don't need permission to exist, to lead, to choose. And the more women who understand this about themselves, the more the world changes.

My daughter is the same age as my niece. She is 24, she has made mistakes, and every single one of those mistakes was hers to make. She is living a life built on what she actually wants, not what she thinks is expected of her. That is what I wanted for her. That is what I want for every woman listening to this.

This is Why I'm a Witch

Witchcraft, for me, is self-leadership. It is the understanding that your power source is you. You have a direct connection to the divine, whatever that looks like for you, your higher self, your deities, your goddesses, your gods, your own inner knowing. And you do not need an intermediary. You do not need to submit to anyone. You do not need permission to access what is already yours.

There is no one telling you what to believe, when to believe it, or who to believe in. You decide what is true for you. That is the reclamation witchcraft offered me. It was me saying: I decide. And I will never un-know that.

I've had this realization before. But sitting in that ceremony, surrounded by hymns and Bible verses and a pastor making jokes about a wife cleaning the house, it hit differently. It wasn't a revelation. It was a reaffirmation, louder than it has ever been.

I could never shrink myself again to fit a role where I am less than another person. Not for a religion. Not for a man. Not for social acceptability. Not for anyone.

That is why I became a witch. And that is why I can never go back.

What Comes Next

This weekend clarified something for me that I've been building toward for a while. You can expect new offerings from me in the coming months, all centered on helping women reclaim their power. One of them has been in the works since November and I now have the fire to finish it. It goes deep into women in religious history, into Eve, into Lilith, into why strong women have been silenced across cultures and centuries. More on that when it's ready.

In the meantime: the doors to the Inked Spirit Coven are closing at the end of May. This is the first time since we opened that we are moving to a closed-door model, and it's intentional. We are in the middle of a year-long feral witchcraft journey, and right now we are moving from Awakening the Feral Witch into Empowering the Feral Witch. If this episode stirred something in you, if you felt seen or called out or activated, you belong in this container. Once the doors close, they will only open a few times a year.

If you've been sitting on the fence, this is your sign to get off it.

You can find all the information and join at InkedSpirit.com.

This post is pulled from Episode 221 of Busy, Gritty, Inked, and Witchy. If you want the full conversation, including the moments where I completely lost it and had to hold myself together on camera, watch or listen below. New episodes drop every Wednesday.